I woke up earlier than I normally do this morning, which believe me rarely happens and I woke up feeling amazing and feeling really positive. I am not too sure why but it might be because I am excited to unveil something special tomorrow to everyone. I think this feeling and the fact that I am making some much needed progress on the projects that have been languishing on the side are being revived, makes me feel that I am getting somewhere. I did feel this way last week, but I think it is the fact that I have been making big strides in the right direction and today I have been able to continue to make progress which is making me feel happy.
I think the biggest obstacle is that I have started to overcome the negativity that I had been feeling and also the fact that I have been honest with myself and people around me, that there is a sense of weight being lifted. There is also a sense of relief because when I hide my emotions and let them build up inside me, it can bring me down in a matter of moments. I think that being more honest with myself especially is one of the most important things I can do to continue to make myself a happier person. I am not saying that I have not been happy, but I think it is the smaller things that have been affecting me more lately and I have been hiding from the truth. Now that I have faced the reality head on rather than holding it back, has allowed me to feel so much happier in myself.
One of the other things that has made me feel so much happier is that I was realising that my reader numbers had fallen and I have found a solution to it. My issue is that I was not spreading the word about the blog enough, which then led to me feeling like I was struggling and the interest in the blog was falling. I now understand that there is a larger audience out there who wants to read the blogs and all I need to start doing is connecting with my audience and actually tell everyone that there is a new blog out.
I dialled back on spreading the word somewhat because I did not want to feel that I was spamming these avenues. The thing is that I never was because it was not like I was sharing the blog to the same places 10 times an hour and being obsessive. I was simply informing my audience and potentially a new audience that I am a blogger and I do a blog every day about my life. I think this realisation has made me happier because I know that there are so many more people who are interested in the blog that I ever imagined.
The other thing which has been really relaxing me and helping me think is the fact that I have found some of the film music themes that I studied at university and I realise how much I really enjoy film music. For example, about 10 minutes before writing this blog, I refound the main theme to Taxi Driver, which is a Martin Scorsese film from 1976, which was composed by Bernard Herrmann. This theme is simply gorgeous and it is one of my favourite film themes of all time because it is the way that the theme explores the many feelings that the main character is feeling emotionally, as well as a perfect depiction of a city that is slowly falling into chaos.
Overall, I am now a much happier person today that I have been for a while and it is because I have finally been honest and realistic with myself, rather than hiding it and letting it fester inside me. The relief I felt by just being honest, is something that I think I have needed to feel for some time now and it is all about making myself even happier and more positive, which will lead to more success. Also, film music is something I have missed listening to especially the more relaxed themes because the emotions that can be depicted through instruments and melodies is something magical.
Have an awesome day everyone and I will see you all tomorrow.