16/10/2016 (Day 126: Taking The First Step To A Better Me)

Today I have continued to work on the upcoming review in line with the schedule that I wrote and I realised something. I could write this reviews easily if I can be more positive instead of being uncertain like I was yesterday. The problem I have currently is that in recent years, whenever I have approached anything, whether it be a review, a speedrun or even a university project, I have entered it with the mindset of thinking of the work as a whole and not individual sections. I think what this has caused for a long time with me is a sense of apprehension whenever I have tackled projects or tasks that might have multiple facets or stages because I worry and think about the later stages rather than the stage I am currently working on.

I think what I wrote yesterday definitely is a step in the right direction because after I wrote it, I realised that the side of me that was writing it was a more confident side and a side I would like to have more in my life, instead of the tentative, nervous me that I have been for a while. I think the first place where positivity can happen and it will have a massive impact on me overall is at work because I haven’t been as confident as I used to be. However, from tomorrow I am treating it as a new start and forgetting any mistakes that I have made before because my problem is that I say I will start again and rebuild, but I let previous mistakes control me and I feel like it almost restricts me from moving on. The thing I need metaphorically is break the shackles that have held me back from too long and really show what my potential is both at work and in everything else I do because if I keep worrying about every mistake I do, then what would be the point in doing anything at all.

Overall, today has been a day of contemplation and realisation that I can do anything if I stop trying to be a perfectionist and also if I can forget about mistakes and just move on form them. This hopefully is the first step on the long road to being a more positive and also healthier person because these worries will mean I can think my diet and make progress in my life in general starting tomorrow.

Have an awesome day everyone and I will see you all tomorrow.


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